27 Lessons from Working in Tech
Key learnings I would tell any of my mentees!
Your company and title do not define your identity
This is the easiest way for people to fast-track themselves to a full blown identity and/or mental health crisis. If mass tech layoffs in recent years have not exposed this issue enough, let me reiterate that your job title and employment with your company can be taken away in an instant. Who are you without them? How can you reframe what you bring to the table so that it stays connected to your identity no matter what? Decoupling yourself from your company and title is a challenging yet very healthy exercise to perform in order to improve your own personal brand and truly define what it represents no matter the company, title, or salary.
Do not title chase - instead, skills and project chase
Your title is not your golden ticket to landing your next role, so stop depending on it to define your level of seniority, skills, and/or subject matter expertise. Your job title can be an indicator or callibration to get your foot in the door, but it will not give you a free pass on a live Python or SQL coding test or magically give you the project experience needed. Every company’s role hierarchy, job title, and productivity requirements are different, so one company’s senior-level role could be barely passing the mark on another company’s entry-level role.
As an example, I have had the same job title for different roles where in one I was executive-facing working on high-impact operational metrics, and in another working on production machine learning code. Wildly different project experience, yet the exact same externally facing title. You need to instead figure out what skills and project experience are needed for the role you want, and strategize how you are going to get them. Your title and level will catch up to you one way or another, and you will be much more fulfilled in your day to day.
Your career is a marathon, not a sprint
I have other blog posts that also highlight this, but you need to do everything in your power to not burn out. Everyone has limits, but most people only discover them a few years into entering the workforce or working for a fast-paced company. In school you are often taught to go the extra mile, and that extra credit will improve your grades but this does not apply in the workforce. Instead of longer hours equating more success, you have to learn how to work smarter, strategize, and identify projects that create true value and impact.
Did you know that it takes at least 3 years to recover from burnout (3-5 years for most)? I myself can testify to this study, and am only now starting to feel like myself again (4 years later). Burnout leads to emotional blunting, exhaustion, and chronic stress — and can also lead to a handful of deeper mental health issues. So if you feel yourself edging towards burnout, do all that you can to regulate your stress, maintain healthy mental and physical habits, and take time off if needed (I myself took a 3-month sabbatical). Especially for high performers and perfectionists — a few weeks or months is not the end of the world, and is minimal in comparison to years!
Learn the game - then choose to play it or not
Every company has a game on “how to succeed” — I suggest learning it early on. Who has the biggest stake in your projects, who determines your raises and promotions, and what kind of output is valued most? Hint: In general this means always showing up early (7:30-8am), working on projects with true material impact, sending regular updates to managers and senior executives (without them having to ask), and proposing original ideas. I have worked with plenty of hard-working colleagues with exceptional talent, but it has always been the ones who played the game well who got ahead.
What some employers do not recognize, especially with Gen Z, is that some people choose not to play the game. Some people do not want a promotion, because they recognize that the people in more senior roles have much longer hours, hold more responsibility for others, and have to take on a larger mental load. So, the key in learning the game is having the power to choose.
Different management styles will expose where you are intrinsically and externally motivated
In school, you are almost always externally motivated with nonstop homework assignments, fast approaching deadlines, final exams, a GPA, and even helicopter parents. In the real world, there are many roles that require you to be intrinsically motivated which may cause a bit of a crisis for some. I recommend that everyone experiences a micromanaging and a more hands off style. Though micromanagers get a bad rap, some people require a higher level of involvement and supervision than others. It is important to isolate your working style from a deadline-heavy environment, and identify how your best work is done. Then, express this to your manager. This may take time, but is important for achieving your healthiest productivity levels.
Always negotiate your salary
Especially women, but I know you know this! It can be extremely daunting in an uncertain job market to push back on an offer, but you must always negotiate! Most recruiters are expecting it, and you are doing yourself a disservice by not even asking. Most salaries have a specific structure with a sign-on bonus, base salary, and stock. Do your research online, ask your recruiter about the ranges, and be ready for some back and forth to get to a number you are happy with.
Pick your mentors wisely
I am notoriously picky with my mentors, but with good intention. Never choose someone whose job you would never want, or who has morals you do not align with. Many people will mean well, but their advice stems from their own biased experience and background. Also, understand the requirements of the mentor-mentee relationship and how much power they might potentially hold over your growth. What do I mean by this? You need to learn what is at stake and understand both how much they can help you and potentially hurt you. The same person who holds a lot of power in helping you progress your career can just as easily take it away and push you off of a cliff (metaphorically). So again, choose wisely who you trust and confide in. Your biggest betrayers and champions may be the most unsuspecting.
Career growth is not always linear
I am probably the biggest living example that career growth is not always linear, but I can empathize with those who feel they are not progressing in the way they had imagined. I started out my career as a Business Analyst and very quickly got promoted to the next level the following year. Then, I did a rare job family move from Business Analyst II to Data Scientist II. The usual progression that you often see is Business Analyst to Business Intelligence Engineer to Data Engineer or Data Scientist. However, as I stated earlier — skills and projects matter much more than title. I was able to leverage my background in data science in college, along with building a high visibility statistical model in Python and R as a Business Analyst to make the job family transition.
As a Data Scientist II, I was on a timeline to get promoted in 2020. However, workplace politics and my burnout got in the way and I stayed a Data Scientist II for four years. You can imagine how frustrated I was year after year, but I did not let my title determine my level of impact, projects, or skills-building. I was able to collect several projects that were senior-level and above for my resume, which landed me a Principal TPM role.
Now, how was I able to also make a job family transition from data scientist to TPM? During my last role as a data scientist, I sat on a software engineering team and learned all the ins and outs of collaborating with developers, sprint planning, workback plans, technical process maps, and design diagrams. In addition, I owned a machine learning model where I worked first hand on the production code and architecture. I could not have gotten to my dream role today if it were not for my previous roles! So as stated above, the titles and seniority will eventually catch up to you — it is most important to focus on skills-building and project experience!
It is okay to pivot
As you can see above, I made a job family pivot twice — and am so glad that I did! Early on in your career it is much harder to figure out where you might potentially pivot, but do not stay on the same course just because it’s the linear path. Keep track of projects you have been most excited and least excited about. Talk to people who work in different roles, and ask to shadow them if permitted. You cannot find new strengths and weaknesses until you try something new. And, if you decide to make the leap to pivot and end up not liking it, it is completely okay to revert back!
Own your mistakes and fail often
I find that the most successful people are able to overtly call out their mistakes, and admit when they have failed. Lying or covering up your mistakes hoping no one will notice is a very dangerous habit to develop, and it will always come out at some point. Also, failing is a big indicator that you tried something outside of your comfort zone rather than sticking to the status quo. It may take some failed attempts, but eventually you will have created something extremely impactful. Fear is a big inhibitor of progress, and if you are too scared to make mistakes or fail you will never be able to expand in your career. The key is to try something new, make mistakes, correct them, and keep pushing forward. You will be able to move forward and progress much faster this way.
Kick your people pleasing and perfectionist habits for good
As an extension of the previous lesson, you cannot make mistakes and fail if you have severe people pleasing and perfectionist habits. These habits may have worked in your favor throughout school, but they completely work against you in the real world. At some point, you are going to have to learn to disagree with others and put together something scrappy for a quick deadline. If you do not learn to say no, you will get taken advantage of and get pushed past your limits. The bar might be high, and something that would have previously been marked as perfect may be met with heavy criticism. You cannot let the thought of saying no or regular critiques get to you — it will burn you in the worst way. It takes practice, but can be managed with boundaries and therapy.
Develop healthy habits
In our teens and early 20’s, we can rely on our young genes to recover from late nights, junk food, lack of exercise, and significant blue light exposure. As we get older, these things catch up to us, and it is important to develop healthy habits and routine to combat daily stressors. Especially for software engineers who do on call, frequent late nights can catch up to you and negatively impact your routine and self care. Entering the real world is extremely stressful, and you should not make it harder on yourself. I myself suffer from procrastination, being a night owl, sporadic exercise, and having a late meal schedule. No matter how hard I try, I find it impossible to completely get rid of them.
I recently had a revelation that we do not necessarily “heal” or get rid of these habits (though I am sure a handful of people out there have), but I believe that radical acceptance is the way to work with them. To work with my procrastination, I chose a job with a fast churn environment that forces me to sustain optimal productivity. To work with my late bedtime, I tested out different sleep schedules and found that 6 hours of sleep is when I feel my best. I turn my big lights off immediately after work, and sit in bed earlier than normal so that I am asleep by 1am the latest (this is a huge improvement from 3-4am). I also have a sun lamp alarm to help my internal body clock when waking up. I signed up for a monthly membership for a workout studio in my building, so I am incentivised to workout at least 2 times a week (and charged if I do not show up). I have healthy and easy snack and food options on hand so I do not have to put extra effort into my meals (I love Perfect Bars and Chomps)!
I hope this inspires some of you to develop similar strategies to work with your bad habits, and turn them into healthy habits!
Your network is your job-seeking net worth
When I was at USC, I was taught it’s not about what you know but who you know and that your network is your net worth. In the tech field you definitely need to know your stuff, but it is equally important to keep expanding your network. With the exception of my internship, all of the roles I have had were introduced to me through my network. It is important to avoid burning bridges, and keep in touch with those that you would enjoy working for or with in the future. You never know what opportunities may be sent your way because you made a good impression on someone. If your team offers to sponsor you to go to a conference, don’t think twice about it! Take all the opportunities you can get to meet and network with people in your field.
I consider myself both an extravert and an introvert depending on the situation, so I empathize with introverts who may have a hard time talking to new people. The good thing about tech is that the majority of people are introverts! You do not have to practice a grand elevator pitch like they do in business school, and most people are open to casual conversations.
A higher salary does not always equal more pay
It may be hard to be practical about choosing what job is best for you when you are drinking the Kool-Aid. Salary should not be the sole factor for accepting a job. If the job is at a fast-paced company with notorious long hours, you may be getting a higher salary but at a cost. This may include outsourcing errands, hiring cleaners, frequent food delivery, therapy, and extra self care services. If another job pays slightly less but has a great work-life balance and culture, you may want to choose it instead. You really have to think about what you are willing to sacrifice, and what it will cost you.
The workplace is not always fair
This may have to be learned the hard way, but many systemic issues of the corporate world are still prominent today. Even if an initiative seems like the right thing to do, if there is no material ROI it will rarely be supported or sustained (we see this with recent dissolvement of DEI organizations). Power plays a big role, and the more power someone has the more protected they are. HR cases are very subjective, and even though documented evidence proves someone guilty they may never receive consequences for their actions. Instead, they may retaliate against you for reporting them in the first place. I am a big proponent of reporting to HR no matter what as I regret being silent about grievances early on in my career, but one should not be naive to this potential outcome.
It is proven that men get promoted faster than women, and gender and racial inequities persist in the workplace. I am optimistic as I have seen improvement over the years, but there is still a lot of work to be done. Do not let this point discourage you from speaking up, but also do not be disheartened if you do not get the outcome you had hoped for.
Document everything
To supplement the above, document everything! You will thank youself if you do find yourself in an unfair situation. I know many people joke about corporate trainings on harrassment, but you never know when you might find yourself in the exact same situation. You need documented evidence and witnesses to build your case.
Documentation also applies to performing your day to day job. Things can move quickly — it is important to write down key information from stakeholder meetings so you do not have to ask twice, summarize important conversations via email, record commitments from others via email, and to document all work being done (even favors). This makes it easy if someone questions specific details, deadlines, or your productivity.
It is also important to document your work in general. Many tech workplaces move so fast that documentation falls last in priority, but it is so important to make it a habit. You never know when someone is going to leave their role, fall sick, or go on vacation. It also makes it easier on everyone for partner teams to self serve information they are looking for.
Be as authentic as your psyche requires you to be
I think back on what my business school professors taught me on formality in the workplace, including specific suit colors, hair and makeup, email etiquette, dining etiquette, and even learning golf. This does not really apply in a lot of tech companies, and instead you will see the hoodie, jeans, and sneakers ensemble. You may see a senior leader or two with a long beard or purple hair sending emails with misspellings. I once worked in a building where someone walked around barefoot in basketball shorts. I would wear a blouse and jeans, and get asked if I was external because I dressed so nice. I would not advise going too extreme, but my point is that tech is a lot more lenient with showing your true personality and authenticity. If showing up as your most authentic self is important to you and helps you perform well, then by all means do it!
Do not misdefine your allies
Allies will always have your back, give positive feedback when it is due, say great things about you even if you are not in the room, and send career growth opportunities your way. If you are a woman, person of color, or part of the LGBTQ+ community — do not write off straight white men! They have been my biggest champions throughout my career, and it is important to have them as allies as they can use their privilege for good. There may be a couple of bad apples here and there, but the good ones recognize their power and truly help others. I am forever grateful to my allies, and it is the only way that positive change can occur in tech. If you are trying to find someone who looks like you and are unsuccessful, find allies who mean well to propel you to be that role model for incoming colleagues.
Ask for help early and often
It may seem daunting starting out your first role, but do not be afraid to ask for help. The secret to any corporate workplace is that no one, not even the most senior leader has everything figured out. The key is to ask questions, let people know when you have reached a blocker, and to not be afraid to escalate. You will find that there are a lot of people who are generous with their time and expertise, and will stand by your side in the face of conflict.
Figure out your priorities and do not sacrifice your personal relationships
One of my biggest regrets from early on in my career is isolating myself from my friends and family. I felt the need to distance myself so that I would not break under pressure. In my first year I took no vacation days, and it took a few years for me to actually go on a vacation. Do not make the same mistakes as I did.
Your company can let you go in an instant, but there are only so many opportunities to create memories with your loved ones — do not talk yourself into letting them pass by. You will have to learn to prioritize what comes first between work and life — it is okay to want to progress in your career, but understand the boundaries that you will have to set to maintain your own sanity.
Mental and physical health above all else
It pains me to say that I know colleagues who have taken calls from their hospital bed, shown up the next morning after a near death health complication, and developed chronic illnesses from work stress. We have to stop rewarding people for going to such lengths, and instead put their mental and physical health first. They may not know how to draw the line, but managers and fellow colleagues have the opportunity to make the decision for them to take time to recover.
You cannot truly heal in the same environment that made you sick, but you can move through it
This is one that I experienced firsthand, so I am able to speak on it from my own point of view. If you are on a toxic team or at a company with a toxic culture, it is probable you will get to the point of feeling “stuck”. My advice: get out immediately — the quicker you leave the easier it is to recover. Rock bottom is not a place people like to be, but the good thing is that the only way to go is up. Stuckness and rock bottom can feel like the end of the world — but it can also actually help you reprioritize your life, fully process your trauma, and develop in blind spots that you were unaware of. Some may recover much quicker than others — it depends on the severity of the situation.
If you feel that your lows are all consuming and lasting an eternity, seek help and support to push through. You have to let yourself feel all of the emotions to process them, even if you cry multiple times a day. You may have to take time off and sleep all day for several weeks in a row, but there will come a time where you start to feel slightly rested. You will create a new routine, develop self care strategies, and continue to move through the stuckness until you finally make it out of that environment. Even if it takes several years, it is possible to keep surviving and push through to the other side one small step at a time. Once you finally find yourself in a new (hopefully healthier) environment, you have a clean slate to put into practice your new boundaries, self care, and self compassion. Kind words and actions may feel uncomfortable as it is such a stark contrast to the past, but after a few months you will start to feel safe in this new environment.
Continuously update your resume and always practice interviewing
You may think that you will remember all the details of your past projects, but the details can easily slip from your memory. Make sure to at least keep track in real time the quantitative impact including number of people, dollars, growth percentages, hours, and count of items. It is also important to always keep your interview skills sharp. Interview practices change rapidly for tech roles, and it is important to keep up with live coding, assignments, case studies, and mathematical problems in addition to behavioral questions. Interview tests tend to be very different from what is done on the job, so it is a separate muscle to keep building.
Time management is your secret weapon
Many people’s downfall is lack of time management. You can be the speediest coding wizard, but any fast-paced environment makes it impossible to meet every single deadline and request. It is important to practice estimating the level of effort something will take (something I still am actively working on), what the dependencies are, how to prioritize tasks in accordance to your organization’s goals, and when to escalate up the leadership chain. This applies to any role, and the ability to break down projects into tasks and sub-tasks will be your secret weapon in balancing realistic timelines and stakeholder relationships.
Sometimes you need a challenging role that works on your weaknesses, to get to your dream role
If I were to relate this to college, there are the classes that you sign up for to get an easy A, and others that have a high fail rate but teach an interesting, challenging topic. In the real world, sometimes you need to push fear of failure aside and take on the challenging role. Especially in technical roles, there are certain projects that will push you beyond your current capabilities — but that does not mean you should not go for it. Everyone has skill gaps between where they currently are and where they want to go, and the objective of the challenging role is to close those gaps. You do not have to play it safe to ensure you are a top performer on every team you are on, because the challenging team is where you will learn the most. There is nothing like finishing a project that you would have never imagined yourself being capable of!
Know your worth, but lose your ego
A lot of people downplay their accomplishments (especially women), and have no idea of the magnitude of impact they have created. When interviewing, you have to learn how to brag. List out how many people you helped, how many hours your saved, how much savings you generated, and all the cool technologies you leveraged. Now, there is a fine line between detailing the full extent of your accomplishments and being egotistical. In tech, it is of utmost importance to lose your ego. There is always someone who is going to be smarter than you, and you cannot refrain from asking for help or deny what you need to work on for the sake of not bruising your ego.
Also, do not live in a bubble. You may think you have nothing to improve on by your team or company’s standards, but it could look completely different venturing out. Seek guidance from mentors outside of your team and company, and make sure they are as transparent and honest as possible about your company’s reputation and how your experience callibrates against others. I would much rather have someone tell me what I need to work on early on, than have everything sugarcoated and having to find out the hard way.
Figure out what you want and learn how to ask for it
This applies to a multitude of things in the workplace, but I will list off a few examples. If you have been performing above your level and want a promotion, you have to ask for it. Your manager will not one day call you up and say that you have been promoted like they do in the movies — you have to ask and be involved in the process (you will most likely write the majority of the document). It is important to bring it up early so that you and your manager can come up with a plan on feedback providers, projects, and timeline.
If you are interviewing for a role and believe your qualifications should bump you up a level, ask! I was originally sent a senior role for my current job, but I asked if I could interview for the principal role. I would not have gotten the principal role unless I had asked for it. This also applies to salary negotiation, project proposals, and even work life balance. Remember, the worst someone can say is no!
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