Starting Therapy: The Hardest Part
But, the greatest investment you can make in yourself.
I have gone to therapy for about a year and a half now, and by all means am not an expert, but do have some insights to share with anyone thinking of starting their journey.
Let’s start with the most common misconception. Nothing has to be wrong with you to start therapy. Let me repeat that, nothing has to be wrong with you to start therapy! A lot of people go to therapy as a means of continuous self-improvement, and to have an objective sounding board. It is better to talk about an inner conflict with a third party rather than talk your friends’ ears off about the same thing for the third week in a row. Damaging behaviors and patterns can be uncovered in therapy that you did not even think were impacting others or yourself.
Some people may feel embarrassment or shame when starting their therapy journey, and it can become amplified when even just finding a therapist is difficult. The stigma is even worse for men, especially if their friends do not talk about inner challenges with one another. Twice as many women seek and participate in therapy than men. Mental health is equally important to stay healthy as physical health. I definitely spent many nights wrestling with the idea before actually making the leap, and wish I had started years earlier.
First you need to find a practice that is taking on new clients, figure out if the type of therapy is right for you, decide based on financials if in-network or out-of-network is possible, and make a connection with the therapist who is the right fit.
I was extremely lucky to have clicked with my therapist in the first meeting, but I know some people who have introductory meetings with more than a handful of practices and therapists before finding the right fit. Do not let this discourage you! It is better to spend the time upfront in the process. I would personally not recommend BetterHelp, which has had some controversy surrounding the app.
I also use out-of-network therapy, as I researched that many people struggle to find in-network therapy, and my case was extremely urgent. In-network therapy options can result in frustration as practices can be fully booked with long waiting lists.
When having an introductory call with a potential therapist match, it is important to make sure they fit your specific criteria, as this is most likely someone you will have a relationship with for several years. You want to make sure it feels good to you, and that they specialize in what your focus areas are, or what you are struggling with. Follow your intuition here!
If you decide to choose out-of-network therapy, make sure to call your insurance company to confirm that superbill claims can be submitted for a portion of reimbursement. I initially struggled with the claim submission process, with several rejected claims and frustrating calls with insurance customer service. I found that the app Reimbursify works best, and I receive checks in the mail within a few weeks of submission.
Now that the nitty gritty is out of the way, I want to emphasize that starting therapy is one of the most life-changing and positive acts one can do for themself. It is an extreme privilege, and if you are in a position to do so, why not reap the benefits! You are not alone in this, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you are on the edge about starting the process, see this as your sign to start. In such a short amount of time, I have a better sense of self, am able to manage anxious thoughts, and am overall much, much happier in all areas of my life.
P.S. For my rockstars entering the workforce, I encourage you to find one early on in your career!
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