Transitioning from a Roommate to Living Solo
Cue ‘Independent Women, Pt. 1’ by Destiny’s Child
After college, I moved to Seattle and lived with a roommate who was my best friend from my internship the summer prior (and still currently my best friend). There is nothing more comforting than starting out in the real world and knowing that you are conquering it with someone in the same boat. There are so many lessons learned that come from your first year working in your full-time job, moving to a different state or city for the first time, and figuring out how to balance it all. I would not trade this experience for the world.
I always knew that I wanted to make it back to Los Angeles, and only planned to stay in Seattle for a couple years. The summer of 2020 mid-pandemic, I decided to make the jump and move to Santa Monica and also live solo. The week of 4th of July I had taken a weekend trip to tour apartments, but did not find any that I liked. Luckily, one of my best friends had already moved, and was able to tour places on my behalf. She went to one that I absolutely loved, and my heart was set on it even if it was a slightly earlier timeline than anticipated. And with that I kicked off the moving process in July 2020! Here are my lessons learned from both moving and living solo over the years:
Lesson #1: Only Look for Apartments When Your Moving Timeline Is Less Than a Month Away
I made the mistake of starting to look at apartments far earlier than I should have. Sometimes, vacancies do not even open until they are move-in ready. You could find one that is perfect, but far too early for your timeline and cause disappointment when they require you to sign right away. It is okay to look at different buildings and areas in general, but touring takes it to the next step where you should be ready to move in a short timeline. In addition to Apartments.com and Zillow, if you are able to, drive around different neighborhoods you are interested in and look for signs of openings and contanct numbers.
Lesson #2: If You Plan On Selling Everything in Your Old Apartment, List Non-essential Items Early
Obviously do not sell your mattress months prior to your moving timeline, but there are items that you can start listing early. I deleted my Facebook a long time ago, so thank goodness my roommate was able to list things on Facebook Marketplace on my behalf. Another good app to sell things on is OfferUp. There is nothing worse than having some quality pieces that have not sold yet the week of your moving timeline, and you having to pay a hefty price for ‘junk removal’.
Lesson #3: Get Insurance on Any Moving Boxes You Ship
Looking back I am actually not sure what I was thinking, but I included all of my designer shoes in their boxes in my FedEx moving boxes. I had gotten insurance on the boxes just in case, but assumed everything would be fine. Los Angeles can be quite different with deliveries if there is no building front desk or concierge, and so if no one is there to sign they would not get delivered. I kept getting notifications of attempted delivery but no completion. I would call FedEx’s customer service to try to figure out where they were with no luck. In the last attempt, I got a notification that they were signed for and delivered, but did not see them anywhere. Thankfully, I could hear the truck from my window and sprinted down the street flapping my arms for them to stop. It was my lucky day because he was able to spot me and stopped, and HAD my boxes of shoes on the truck! I was extremely grateful that they arrived safely, but it is always a good idea to get insurance in case something were to happen.
Lesson #4: Create a Pinterest Board for Inspiration for Your New Space
Disregard this if you just want to keep it simple and order easy items quickly, but listen up if you really want to curate your space and make it your own! I suggest a Pinterest board for inspiration, as there are so many fun and creative posts to spruce up a space. Even if items look to be outside of your price range, you at least now have that idea and can look for a dupe on the market or find a used one on a marketplace.
Lesson #5: Do Start Looking at New Furniture Early - Especially in This Supply Chain Climate
Let’s be honest, ordering furniture in this supply chain climate is an absolute mess. There is little room for control over this situation, so all you can do is plan the best you can, and have back-up items if needed. Start your research early, and I mean really early. Some items I personally have ordered and others I know as well had the timeline of being delivered in 9 months to a year.
Lesson #6: Only Purchase Furniture That Has Clear Instructions, or Get a White-Glove Delivery/Assembly Option, or Find It on Facebook Marketplace
Furniture was my biggest nightmare when I moved. All of the pieces either arrived wrong color, broken, missing pieces, or with terrible assembly instructions. My apartment did not come with a closet so I had ordered one, and had great experiences with Task Rabbit thus far. It came in a massive crate, and someone spent 6 hours not even completing assembly and left it on its side with the wood bending. I had to call customer service to get a new Task Rabbit, who had to undo everything, and rebuild it. That being said, not even 5 star assembly wizards on Task Rabbit can decipher bad instructions. Order things that come pre-assembled or can be assembled during delivery by the same company! Also, check with companies on how things come during delivery. I once had a literal floorlamp delivered in a huge crate, which I then had to call someone to take it out and assemble. I could have saved so much money if I had just switched my furniture option or company to something that could be assembled upon arrival rather than paying Task Rabbits by the hour.
Lesson #7: Ask For Help and Do Not Overwhelm Yourself
Moving is no small feat, so make sure to check-in with yourself and ask for help when you need it. As a perfectionist myself, I know how hard it can be when you want to orchestrate everything perfectly yourself. However, things can be so much easier with even a little help or words of encouragement. I myself definitely had many meltdowns when moving while balancing the broken and incorrect furniture, crates taking up my whole space, assembly mishaps, working full-time, frustrating nonstop customer service calls, and sense of loneliness. I finally gave in and asked family members for help and even if it was just the presence of being there during a delivery, it helps a lot. If you are able to take some time off work, do it. Also, you do not need to do everything all at once. You can order some necessary items, and work on the smaller pieces over time.
Lesson #8: Invest in Organizational Systems Right Away
This is one of the biggest takeaways I have from moving and living alone. I had the basics of organization containers set-up, but wish I had done it all at once before even opening my moving boxes and suitcases. About a year into living alone, I got so fed up with not having proper organization systems that I emptied out every section and room of my apartment, invested in the right organization systems, then re-put everything away. Think about it as the infrastructure of your home, and even the smallest objects need their own container home. If you have not watched Marie Kondo on Netflix, I suggest viewing a few episodes so you get a sense of her system. I think of my mom as even better than Marie Kondo and grew up with everything perfectly organized and filed away, but did not think to do it right away living on my own. Big mistake! Baskets and section dividers for clothes, drawers, lazy susans, containers, labels, file systems, storage box systems, and jars will keep your space in a sane state.
Lesson #9: Bugs
This is one of the biggest terrors of living alone, as my old roommate was not afraid of bugs and always took care of them for me. Living alone, you are going to have to face your fears encountering your first spider. The easiest trick for me, who literally becomes completely paralyzed at the sight of a bug, is to use a small handheld vacuum.
Lesson #10: Administrative Work
Moving and living alone can put a lot of administrative work on your plate. Make sure that you address any of the following: call maintenance and repair any damages or issues found with your home right away, file for a change of address, change the address on your credit card(s), set up all utilities and internet, get a new drivers license if needed at the DMV, get car registration set-up, auto and home insurance, set-up your TV with cable or a streaming box, work from home desk set-up, and/or finding a new doctor, dentist, gynecologist, urgent care, etc. If these were split previously with a roommate, consider the increase of bills in your moving checklist.
Lesson #11: Eating for One
This is a lot tougher than one would think. Eating for one is an artful skill, as you figure out the amount of quickly perishable foods to get, which ones to buy frozen, and whether it makes more sense to order takeout. I would experiment in your first few weeks living alone, and compare costs. I plan on doing separate posts on what I eat in a week when I do go grocery shopping, and what I order when I plan to do takeout instead.
Lesson #12: Combatting Loneliness
No matter how independent, introverted, or busy you may be, loneliness from living alone will catch up to you at some point. It is important to include markers in your days and weeks to have some sort of connection and community, especially if you work from home. This may include daily walks, group fitness classes, hobby studios, or scheduling weekly phone calls with family and friends. If you live close to any friends, it is important to make plans even if it is doing something casual like watching a movie or baking.
I will end this post on a high note by saying that living alone can be one of the most transformational times of your life with so much self-discovery. I truly believe that you do not really know yourself until you live alone, as you do not know what types of habits or patterns are internally-driven versus externally-driven. You have so much to learn about yourself, and are given precious time for journaling, self-reflection, adjusting routines, and figuring out what you want out of life.
It may be an adjustment period for some, but it has truly been a metamorphic past few years of my life. I have learned how to build my life in the way that I want it to look with no external noise, and truly enjoy spending time with myself and my thoughts. I wish everyone on this journey the very best self-exploration, introspection, and self-love. Have fun with solo dance parties, arranging your home how you want it look, entertaining friends, and creating the best routine for you!
Here is a list of home stores if you are looking for a place to start with furniture shopping:
