2024: Another Year of Self-Discovery
Celebrating wins, gratitude reflections, and setting new goals for 2025
I invite you to join me in reflecting on my 2024 — a glimpse into my deep innermost thoughts and a continued journey of self-discovery. :)
A New Job
Though I accepted and started my new role in 2024, I would say that finding the perfect new opportunity was a grueling multi-year process. Job hunting is no joke, especially in today’s market climate! You really have to be disciplined and dedicate the majority of your time to preparation, especially if you have a full-time job. I spent so many sleepless nights studying and practicing advanced rejection therapy (lol), but I am appreciative of the the time I put in and its many lessons I am now able to share with my readers (you can read some tidbits in this blog post)!
Interviews become even more nuanced with technical roles, as there is the added element of technical interviews in addition to your standard behavioral and situational interview questions. Even the most technically adept colleagues I know have been rejected from roles as many are competing against grad students who are doing Leetcode and interview prep all day everyday. Each company’s testing methods vary widely, so this was a big learning process for me. I have touched on some of the unique interview types in my Working in Tech blog posts, but I plan to write more in 2025 on how to successfully prepare for and pass them.
The universe works in funny ways as I always told myself that 1) I would never work for Oracle, and 2) I would never work in cloud infrastrucure again. Yet, here I am existing in both - and loving it! Let this be a lesson for you, dear readers, to stay open minded as you never know how things will play out. I like to think of it as a full circle moment, as I have come to terms with the fact that it was never the industry or organization that was the issue. I touch on my burnout recovery in a few blog posts; it was definitely extremely difficult to try and heal in the same burnout environment. Starting fresh was just what I needed, and I am so grateful to have found my new role.
A Career Pivot
Not only did I land a new job in 2024, but I also did a career pivot! It is funny when I reflect on how everything turned out the way it was supposed to in the end. Earlier on in my career, I really wanted to become a TPM but my mentor told me I needed to be in a strong coding role first in order for development teams to respect me. I lost sight of that career aspiration for many years but did indeed move into roles with a need to build my Python, data engineering, and productionalization capabilities. Now that I am a TPM, I see why my mentor’s advice was so sound as all of my experiences working on production systems and software products have been integral to my success in my day-to-day. Having a brutally honest mentor is so important for long-term career longevity. I am pleased to announce that I just finished leading and launching an application with a 14-person development team!
WSET L3
Ah, my biggest time commitment of 2024! I passed my WSET L2 certification in 2022, and finally took the leap this year to complete the WSET L3 course. I go into more detail in my ‘So You Want to Become a Sommelier’ blog post, but essentially everyone passes L1 and L2 with flying colors. L3 is considered one of the hardest tests in the world with a ~50% pass rate. There is an enormous amount of content to cover with different regions, viticulture, grape types, wine types, climates, and taste profiles.
I did the in-person course through The Wine House again with the esteemed Monica Marin (she is seriously the best!) from April to June. I spent every Sunday all-day in class and studied theory and practiced my tasting in all of my free time. I received my results in August, where I was notified that I had passed the blind tasting exam (woohoo!) but failed the theory exam. I thought I would be okay with my results as passing the wine tasting was most important to me, but I figured I might as well try again and re-sit the theory. I recently studied yet again and re-took the exam on December 15th — I should get my results in 2-3 months. The exams get shipped to London and are graded over the span of 8-10 weeks (very traditional, I know). Cross your fingers for me this early spring!
I have two major themes from this experience to share: 1) if you want to get a certification or learn a new skill that requires lengthy studying and training - just sign-up now (signing up is often the hardest part)!, and 2) failure is OKAY (and this is big coming from a Virgo, lol) - it is always better to have tried again than not at all. Often times, you learn so much more through the process than if you had passed the first time.
Year 2 of Blogging
My blogging consistency was a little spotty this year with the interview prep, new job, and WSET 3 — but I was still able to crank out 47 blog posts. I am confident in my choice to still pursue building out my blog though, as I truly feel revitalized everytime I take the time to sit and write. I also know that I have so many opinions, lessons, research, and learnings to offer but only one of me! In 2025 I plan to use my prioritization skills (reference to my productivity blog) and focus on long form blog posts that delve into deeper topics that can (hopefully) truly help and heal my readers. In the meantime, I would love my readers to post any questions in this AMA blog post.
2024 Vision Board Goals
I am quite pleased with how many items I checked off of my 2024 vision board, and continue to love my method of making it scrapbook style.
Here are some of the things I did/created:
Made a strawberries and cream martini
Made matcha chocolate covered strawberries
Saw a flock of butterflies in the wild
Got a new job
Perfected my iced matcha latte
Went to the RH Champagne and Caviar bar in New York
Made wine charms
Got my new car
Completed the WSET L3 course
Made charcuterie martinis
Ate Tea Master’s Matcha froyo in Little Tokyo
Went to The Maybourne Spa
Recreated a face mask x sunglasses selfie with my bestie
Created a mezze charcuterie board
Had Ace of Spades Rose champagne on my birthday
*Not included in my vision board but I checked aerial yoga off of my bucket list!
Dating
Dating was … almost nonexistent in 2024 lol. I ended a situationship in January and went on a total of 2 dates throughout the year. BUT, I did write one of my favorite blog posts ‘Dating Advice from the Modern Day Alex “Hitch” Hitchens’. I consider it to be the ultimate dating bible, and for that I am proud. I truly think I could be one heck of a dating coach for singles out there who are dating intentionally — but for now I will bookmark it as a future career prospect. I will speak on the self work I did instead in ‘A “Quiet” Year’ below.
Since I am being fully honest and vulnerable in this blog post, I will share 7 lessons from dating over the years:
Single 38-42 year olds are often in more of a life crisis than younger men — expect them to be 1-2 date wonders (older does NOT equate more mature). *A lot of them also lie about their age, lol!
Vet people before you meet them on hard requirements and leave at the first signs of red flags — it will not get better.
Men are perfectly capable of being jealous of you; make sure you have a strong sense of self to clock it rather than let it chip away at your self worth.
Tall, short, rich, poor, accomplished, simple, handsome, not so handsome are all capable of disappointing you — so don’t ever lower your standards.
Most of the men I have dated were kind souls and well-intended — just not the right match for me. Reflect on the lessons learned rather than time wasted. With each person, you get closer and closer to what you are looking for. “Some love stories aren't epic novels. Some are short stories, but that doesn't make them any less filled with love.”
Do not let society trick you into desperation. You are one in a million so your person should be one in a million. I love when people are able to find their person earlier on in life, but sometimes that is not the case. I for one know the feeling of everyone around you in relationships, getting engaged, or married — it is perfectly normal to be on your own timeline. Think of all the fabulous, successful, and accomplished women who met their significant other later on in life or who are still single now!
If you stop dating for a while, your peace will get very addicting. As wonderful as that peace is, keep your heart open.
Planting and Growing Seeds
“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit”. 2024 was a lot of planting seeds and nurturing seeds that were planted in previous years. It may seem like a lot of people have had “overnight success”, but people often do not see or hear of anything in the years that seeds are being planted. Some seeds do not end up sprouting so new ones must be planted. The key is discipline, consistency, and patience. I like to think of these metaphorical seeds as a form of good karma and “little pockets of magic” as you never know when one may pop out all of a sudden and flourish.
Planting seeds is very much aligned to the “snowball effect”, where amazing and abundant results can be seen after years of consistently putting effort towards your desires. All it takes is starting and not giving up! There are so many things that people can accomplish — most times, the main regret is not starting sooner. The best things in life take time; the world is so focused on instant gratification these days that many are missing out on great life ventures by not taking the time now. It is never too late to do anything, but I believe that the 20’s are some of the best years to try new things, fail, practice, learn, and dedicate oneself fully to passions when time is more ample.
There is also a lot of conversation on balance nowadays, but it comes in many forms. Many people perceive it as sustaining equilibrium of the main components of your life at all times. However, just as Ketut says in ‘Eat, Pray, Love’, “Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living balanced life”. This can apply to other things as well — as I believe love comes in all forms. A passion project is a form of love, and dedicating more time to it at the moment will create ease later in life. You have to look at the big picture of your life, and notice where balance can be created within decade timespans, not constricted to just hours.
A “Quiet” Year
I truly believe that “quiet” years are often when the most profound transformation occurs. There is a tendency for discomfort in simply being still — and with time, you have to learn how to face all parts of yourself. The habits, limiting beliefs, external vs internal motivations, patterns, and self-awareness begin to surface. It is up to you on what you choose to do within that stillness.
For me, I reflected a lot on my experiences with dating. This is not the case for all, but I found that when I do date I tend to form more self-limiting beliefs than when I do not — and this attributes to my avoidance. I believe there is a connection to my tendency for very practical, logical types when my life mission is all about expansiveness and existentialism (blame my Sag rising, lol). For example, with one person I dated I mentioned that I was looking for a new job. Though he was very well-intentioned, he recommended that I wait as the job market is not great at the moment. Had I listened to him, I would not have my new job that I love so much — and my year would probably look much different (and not in a good way).
I also tend to shift all of my energy to this person, as when I say I am a Cancer venus — I mean it! I am fiercely loyal, generous, and have so much love for another person when I can fully trust them. I tend to put a little bit too much energy into helping the other person — whether that be their own goals, thoughtful gifts, mindset transformation, etc. This is why it is so hard to date for all fellow lovergirls — these actions are often underappreciated and taken for granted. This leads to shrinking oneself, which never feels good.
There was a viral sound bite this past year on TikTok that said “I don’t want a boyfriend, I want my dreams to come true”. And while I know plenty of amazing couples who motivate each other to become better versions of themselves and chase after their dreams, I can’t help but personally see some truth to it for my own situation. There are plenty of people who find joy in small moments, a steady routine, space for wellness and relaxation, and a slow-paced life and I completely respect that as a strong form of success. Everyone has a different outlook on success, their ideal life, and the perfect life path — and each one is completely valid.
For me, I lie awake at night thinking of all of my passions and desires, and how I can reach them within my 5-9 after work and the weekends. I notice that I am less focused on my goals, dreams, and desires when I date — so for now, I am going to keep the focus on myself. However, my goal for 2025 is to figure out how my life could look with someone else and what kind of person would compliment my life goals (without being a completely unhinged person, lol).
Taking Control
Instead of being stuck in the passenger seat of a speeding car, I finally feel like I am in the driver’s seat of my life. I have done a lot of self-reflection on what is holding me back from pursuing things whether that be a small task in my day-to-day or a long-term goal. Manifestation often gets misconstrued in mainstream media with a focus on the trendy aspects and surface-level marketing of repeating affirmations, writing things down, crystal collections, and vision boards. While all of these things are important, the intent is to rewire your thoughts and address all of the self-limiting beliefs in your subconscious.
If you do not take time to yourself and exist in stillness, you don’t even know what is stuck in your subconscious. This is why manifestation can take years and a lot of hard work — you have to erradicate all self-limiting beliefs to reach your desires. You can say things out loud, think things, and write things down all day but if you do not truly believe them and address the root of your subconscious - these things will not manifest. Some of my own internal battles include breaking the burnout cycle, overcoming years of rejection, and juggling several priorities.
Doing this work casts a wider net than just improving yourself and your quality of life. It is strange, but even people who are doing much better than you in life by a certain standard are capable of being jealous and toxic. Addressing any and all insecurities, rigid thoughts, and judgement is so important for relationship building and the wellbeing of others. Lack of identification and control of your subconscious and self-limiting beliefs often manifest into mistreatment of others.
On Friendships and Connections
A big theme of the 20’s is toxicity and jealousy in friendships and friendship breakups — the root cause is normally a mismatch of someone who has done inner work vs. not. Instead of looking inward, the default reaction for a lot of people is to project things that they have not been able to face themselves. I have empathy for these people, and my hope is that everyone has the privilege of stillness to face their inner fears and darkest parts of themselves. Developing strong self-awareness is key, and starts to add a voice of reason and more consideration to all thoughts and decision-making. Friendship fallouts are a part of life, but I look back on the memories shared fondly and am always rooting for their life path chosen. With any fallout comes deep gratitude for those who make friendship with me a priority and a two-sided commitment; I truly feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have found my soulmates (there is always balance in life!). Friendship is one of the most, if not the most treasured thing in life (even according to all of the centenarians in the book Ikigai).
On all connections in life — I am elated to announce that I have completely stopped people pleasing! I had made strong strides over the past couple of years but this year I really nailed it. The saying is true that “a friend to all is a friend to none”. I don’t blame people for neutrality as that is a societal conditioning to break out of that requires inner work, but life becomes so much better when you are able to really sift out the noise, bad energy, and develop true authenticity to yourself, your values, and the people that you love the most. You will notice that once things fall apart, you are able to put them back together much better than before. Plus, life is so much more fun when you have real things to stand for!
It’s All About Energy
This year, I really dug into the root causes of some of my lingering burnout symptoms. I started tracking what was draining my energy versus what was giving me energy. I found that my energy levels do not correlate to how many things I have on my plate or mental/physical energy expended, but rather the balance of energy takers and energy givers. If everything you do in a particular day drains your energy, it is time to find some passion projects or hobbies. I can be extremely tired after a long work day, but by engaging in any of my side passion projects — my energy levels balance out. Not everyone has the privilege of having their full-time job as an energy giver, which is completely normal. It is important to identify how you can supplement your routine, even for just a few minutes each day. This also applies to people, as you will want to notice how you feel after being with close friends and loved ones. If you have already done the work of filtering out misaligned people from your life, they should all be energy givers.
I won’t go in full detail in this blog post, but I have the perspective that everything is energy. I plan to write more on manifestation, meditation, and frequencies this year — but for now, interpret this statement as you would like whether spiritually or scientifically.
Putting Ikigai Into Practice
Last year, I was obsessed with all of the teachings from the book, Ikigai, and in 2024 had the goal to put some of the learnings into practice. I have included a diagram from the book below to explain ikigai to anyone unfamiliar with the concept.
Here are the 10 rules of Ikigai:
Stay active; don’t retire
Take it slow (don’t hurry!)
Don’t fill your stomach (use the 80% rule)
Surround yourself with good friends
Get in shape for your next birthday
Smile
Reconnect with nature (can’t promise I’ve done this one lol)
Give thanks
Live in the moment
Follow your ikigai
This year I worked on continuing to find my ikigai, as I have my profession and my passion but am missing my mission and vocation. I brainstormed hard and have since identified my vocation as I expanded the offerings on my website and truly believe I can help people through my services. My goal of 2025 will be to find my true mission! I also experimented with new things where I achieve a state of flow — this included making matcha lattes, wine charms/string tings, wine tasting, cooking one pots, and of course blogging! I also did my best to be in less of a state of worry, and to find stability even in my longest, most chaotic days. Having a year of stillness has contributed to a greater sense of gratitude, living in the moment, and nurturing close relationships.
Content Creation
In early 2024, I finally took the leap to start posting videos on TikTok. My original intent with my blog was to stay solely focused on writing (as I prefer to be hidden behind the scenes), but posting on TikTok has been a great learning experience if anything. I have much more empathy for content creators, as it truly is a lot of hard work to create videos — and takes a lot of courage to show your face on the internet when there are so many trolls out there. I also got to experience 200 view jail for essentially the entirety of the year, which is a great forcing function of self-belief and staying consistent no matter the results. Content creation is one of the greatest forms of planting seeds, as you never know when your account may take off or when a specific video will resonate widely.
With talks of a TikTok ban this month, I also migrated a lot of my TikTok content to a new Instagram account (@nicoles_bloggie) a couple of weeks ago. I plan to use it to post my new blogs in real-time, which I did not do a great job of this year.
Notable Creations, Discoveries, and Happenings of 2024
Dabbling with one pots
I got a gorgeous pink flower Le Creuset, which inspired me to start cooking one pots. I have been loving the challenge (as we all know I am not a cook), and plan to do more in 2025!
Perfecting my iced matcha latte
I discovered KOATJI milk in the summer, which elevated my matcha lattes to a whole new level! I also ordered an assortment of matchas from Japan, and discovered my ultimate favorite - Marukyu Koyamaen Uji Wako
Continuation of FBI investigation of hard to find/sold out products
Finding impossible products is one of my favorite pasttimes, and 2024 was no exception! I found a pink Samsung MV800 (super hard to find for a reasonable price), pink sold out Riedel highball glassware (found in a little online boutique in Germany), matching sold out Xmas pajamas for my sister’s fiance (Poshmark NWT for the win!), and some of the best sale finds (Amina Muaddi’s 65% off - what?!)
Me-centered dopamine
I already don’t care too much about perception and validation as I often buy things, wear things, eat things, etc. without needing validation - but I really amped it up this year! I think that with my lack of a dating life I felt more free to experiment with fun things like douyin nails, green eyeshadow, musical theatre, Japanese products, and more.
Japanese content integration
Speaking of Japanese products, I really amped up the integration of my Japanese culture into my blog posts and social media content. Wasians often get harrassed online for pulling the wasian card too much (I get it), but delving into Japanese culture is a part of my self-discovery journey! I reconnected to childhood foods like mabo tofu and plan to do more videos like onigiri, tamago, Japanese curry, cold udon, and more in 2025 (I’m still so mad about how viral and inventive Emily Mariko’s salmon rice bowl was perceived - something I ate literally everyday growing up, along with most other Japanese people lol). I also became addicted to going to J-Beauty stores and tried so many cult favorite products (read about them here).
TV shows, movies, and music
This year made me really happy with favorite shows and movies as we got the new season of The Bear, Tell Me Lies, Love Island USA (the best season ever), Nobody Wants This (so cute) and Sex Lives of College Girls (currently watching). I also watched Scandal the whole way through for the first time, and I was SAT. What an incredible show, and so timely with the election! I am still obsessed with Challengers, and the year ended with a bang of dopamine with Wicked - and I am so excited for the second part to come out in 2025 (honorable mention for Anora)! My music highlight was the one and only Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter. I have never liked country music, but her album is true GENIUS! I have also loved watching Rosé’s rise to fame and all of her songs get stuck in my head!
Looking to 2025
Rather than a long list of New Year’s Resolutions, several years ago I began brainstorming just one theme for the year. Drumroll, please! My word for 2025 is indomitable. I truly feel like a woman of steel at this point, and I have the safety and trust in my indomitable spirit to take as many risks and leaps of faith as I please.
This year, I am really going to crank out my writing and complete 500 total blog posts. I plan to spend every Sunday in a coffee shop to really focus on reaching my flow state and ikigai. I also have a few trips that I am looking forward to, so you can expect more travel posts in 2025.
I often have a focus on health and wellness, but I will be laser focused on my actual health conditions by starting my Xolair journey to cure my solar urticaria. I also plan to visit an endocrinologist to figure out my hormones (I will obviously share my learnings!).
Above all else, I am grateful for all that has happened in 2024 and promise to not lose sight of the beautiful things and people in my life. Cheers to a fabulous 2025!
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